There are headless bodies all over the kitchen table. Several dismembered legs and some tails. Three packets of eyes in a basket and several zillion balls of wool.
Much work has to be done by 21st November in time for the PTA to get their craft stall together in time for the christmas sale. They have asked for several dozen treefrogs, some mice, cats and ladybirds. Even worse, they are expecting the cats and mice to be co-ordinated. What!
Crochet - in this case the specific Japanese brand known as amigurumi - is quite a relaxing pastime when watching tv or when there's nothing better to do, but all of a sudden the pressure is on. It's like a living computer game, as the woolly creatures have to be completed in secret otherwise they're seized on by the resident Groke Park child, who then refuses to relinquish them despite bribery and threats. If I get them off him, I earn 234,000 points and advance one level. If he keeps hold of them, he wins the Amulet of Yendor, learns the password and becomes a fourth level Paladin. But this is not the only hazard - hiding the fabric fiends succcessfully is also a dark art, as the cats will hunt down any half finished animals they catch sight of and drag them mercilessly across the floor, mewling in triumph. Four cans of meaty chunks for every bunny chewed and extra stealth points.
Thus, the question on no lips whatsoever is - of the amigurumi creatures about to be made, how many will reach the safe haven of the PTA pigeonhole?
Lay your bets, and tune in over the next month as the production line swings into action and watch indifferently as the story unfolds.
There will be pictures, so be sure to wear diving goggles to protect your eyes.
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